Update
This is an update regarding planning an eventual 'celebration' to remember sweet John Marty. No plans or details are yet made, but I will share information soon with all of the people who loved.
John has so many people who love him. His wishes were to be cremated and then to come home. He did not desire a funeral in the traditional sense, nor in a religious way or house of worship. He wanted what people call a ‘celebration of life’, although I am looking for something more fitting to call, something that feels more appropriate for our sweet guy.
I am not in a rush. And, I want things to feel as true to John Marty as they possibly can, so I am still figuring out what that looks like.
I will certainly share here once a plan is made, and I am sensitive to the fact that there are a whole lot of people who will want to come that will have to travel to Denver, so I aim to give enough time for travel arrangements too.
I have had lots of people reach out regarding a Go Fund Me type thing or sending money or gift cards, and again, I am just not sure what feels right at this time. I have many people in my life who are offering to organize care or support. I have a couple of friends and my sister who would likely do that, so I can also share their contact information here eventually if it is appropriate to do so.
Thank you for all the messages through all the various channels over the past few days. Like I knew, John was special to many people. Because he was so genuine and open to connection, he made so many special and deep connections with people. He made people feel special and truly seen. I am hurting so very much, but I also treasure each reminder and memory of how John touched others’ lives.
I am lucky enough to be the keeper of so many of my and John’s shared memories, including those that no one else knows, shared by only me and John, so now they live only within my heart. As lonely and painful as that realization is, it is also such an honor.
My dear niece Chloe….I think about you and young Raffa quit often everyday. My heart aches so for you and Raffa. I wish there was something I could do to help comfort you. I only have my words of love and affection. In some way I hope it helps to soothe the emotions and grief you are feeling. If only for a moment, it would make me feel so greatful to know in some way it helps you. We know, John is right there in spirit with Raffa and you. And, is very much alive in your heart and memories. Memories give us a feeling of not being alone. Without the memories we would be lost. They help to keep us going, to carry on with living. For, these moments are unbearable right now.
I wanted you to know I so very understand about taking things slow. This is why I have not asked when the time would be for laying John down to rest. Don't even worry about that. You need your time. Time when you are feeling you have the strength. I feel so very appreciative that you are thinking about others and making sure they have the time to make plans to be here on that day, Celebrating the Life of John. It's not something you run across in times such as these. So thoughtful when you have enough on your mind and a heavy heart. No worries my dearest Chloe. You take ALL the time you need for Raffa and yourself. You know, when you feel the time is right.
I love you very much. I love Raffa very much. Remember, I am here if you just need a shoulder to cry on. If you need anything, anything at all. Or, just wanting someone to sit with you. No words….only quite and peacefulness.
With loving thoughts,
Aunt Sandra
Thank you for this update, Chloe. I appreciate the time you are taking to process everything and do what feels best… and for letting people in in this way. I look forward to details regarding remembering & celebrating John, but also to each and every update just to feel your presence. I think about you every other thought these days. I’m grateful for the support system you have and also appreciate that it might feel overwhelming.