First 4th
It’s not even a holiday holiday but the 4th of July was our first holiday without John. I can’t help but send John texts, and this is what I sent him tonight.
Happy 4th of July, you were so missed today just like every day since you have been gone. I just can’t believe this is real, John. I just want you to come back home so badly. How could it be that you are gone? How did this happen?
Raffa had fun with his cousins, but I could not shake the loneliness I felt. I kept looking around for you. Wanting to find you. Wondering why every other 4th of July, or any holiday for that matter, I didn’t just spend the whole time talking to you. Isn’t that so funny? Of course I never would have thought to do so, I knew you’d be there and I knew you’d still be there after everyone else went home. So it didn’t feel necessary. But now you are not here. Not when everyone is here and not after they go home. And I miss you every second of all of time.
You love the 4th of July. It was always fun. But I know you loved our quiet evenings the best. You loved just being home with me and Raffa. I always just love being with you and Raffa too - I am glad I said that out loud a lot in many different ways: “I am so glad to be here with you guys.” Or “as long as I am with you guys it’s the best day for me.” Or “I don’t care what we do as long as I am with you guys.”
Love you so much. Miss you more than you will ever know. Truly.
From last 4th of July - 2024
John is very lucky to have you. Thank you very much sharing that short video. John always loved sharing all the fun with as many people as possible!
Dearest Chloe,
I believe John knew and knows your love for him. For, I believe the ones we love ❤️ so deeply are right by our side after passing. He knew.
He knows. When he was living on this earth....I think he could not help but know by the way you looked at him, laughed with him. All those things in life you did and shared with him. How you cared for John.
I do so appreciate letting us into
you and Raffa's life. When John was living and after his passing. You express it so beautifully.
I can't help the tears it brings to my eyes, when I read your thoughts of your and Raffa's life with John before he parted from his life on earth and after his passing. Thankyou. I love you and Raffa.